Thursday, February 14, 2013

5 Keys to a Lasting Teen Relationship

love and the honor student (part 3):5 keys to a lasting teen relationship

My friends from highschool.
They have been together for almost a year
Most teen relationships don’t last long. Often starting so sweet and ending so bitter. We ask ourselves, WHAT DID I DO WRONG? We think about it for so long, finding the reason why things didn’t work out.

Has there been a time when you asked yourself, “why doesn’t it last?” 

We drown ourselves in music, seeking refuge. I listen to Taylor Swift, and most of the songs deal with relationships and breakups. Funny thing though that:


No, I’m not the author of Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus. No, I’m not some relationship guru. But the following are for me the 5 things I always remember whenever I have a relationship, and for me? It works. Try it out and you’ll see.

    1. Communication

COMMUNICATION IS THE SOUL and ESSENCE of every relationship.

A celebrity couple from my school. They have
been in a relationship
for a whopping 4 years! 
Every relationship is based on frequent and wholesome communication. Think about it. Aren’t relationships advanced and more intimate forms of socializing?

Have you noticed that whenever you are together you two do what? You guys talk.

We talk about a lot of things. Our lives, schoolwork, interests, hobbies, dreams, yep, a lot of things.

We share our deepest problems with our partners. And we lean on them to find support.  Sometimes, we don’t share our problems with our lives but we share the problems in the relationship.

To save a relationship, to work things out only requires you two to talk. Everything can be resolved by peaceful talking.

And let’s admit it; the most common cause of a break-up is MISUNDERSTANDING. Maybe he/she didn’t get what you were trying to say. Maybe she got another interpretation of what you said.


You have to sit down with him/her and try to find out:

1.What is wrong? What seems to be the problem? What did I do wrong?
2. Why did it happen?
3. How can we resolve it?

That’s it. And if your partner doesn't seem to make the first move, then, MAKE THE FIRST MOVE. Play the active role. Be the one to try to initiate the conversation. Break the ice. And if your partner doesn't want to talk, then be PERSISTENT. After all, you do want to save your relationship? Right? Your partner will surely see the effort and, will in the end, agree to talk.


We all want to share our lives with someone. We all want someone to be with. We all want to make memories with someone. But the truth is, relationships aren’t all about kisses in the park, sweet dates in a fancy resto, nor escapades on the beach. Relationships have problems too you know.

Relationships are for MATURE PEOPLE only. We must be able to be mature enough to do a lot of things.

We must be able to get through the ups and downs of a relationship.

Conflicts do happen. You want something but he/she wants something else. In a relationship one has to play the MORE MATURE role.

Sometimes we have to let go of our wants to make room for something else,                                                                                    all for the common good, to make your relationship last.

One good example is the very sensitive topic of SEX. He wants it, but you don’t. Sometimes she doesn't want it. Actually, my girlfriend right now told me she is not ready for very intimate things, even kissing.  Being a Filipino, it is in our customs to be conservative.

If she doesn't want it, then don’t ask for it. Relationships aren't all about sex and making up at the backseat in a car. No, hell no. Relationships are about growing up, maturing, human relations, interacting with someone.

And when there is a mighty row. We must be mature enough to try and actually do something about it. We must have a deeper understanding of why relationships have its problems.  We have to understand that it takes two in a relationship. We won't always get what we want.

We must accept the fact that sometimes due to several factors, he/she won’t be able to make it on a special date, why he/she can’t always have time to text you how you are doing.

Also, we all make mistakes. We get hurt. But we have to stop being bitter. We have to accept the fact that we all learn from relationships and making mistakes is part of it. We have to learn to forgive and move on.

Relationships only come to our lives if and only if we are ready. Relationships and, to a greater extent, love can be the cause of great happiness and also great sadness.


 We are all allured by temptations. Temptations that can break relationships. We cheat and we flirt. But before you even decide to do that, ask yourself. And this goes with every decision.

Ask yourself: how would I feel if he/she did this to me?

Hurts right?

A relationship is an intimate bond shared by TWO, and only TWO people. Third parties more often than not make a relationship crumble. Can we actually stand knowing that there is someone else?

With faithfulness comes one thing. Contentment. People should settle for only one. Think about it. We entered a serious relationship, we didn't ask for a “friends with benefits” relationship. We have to settle for one. Only one.

And don’t go crying to me that the reason you cheated was because you two are in a long-distance relationship, or maybe you two are from other schools, or even  because you don’t get to see each other that often.

Don’t make any reason why you cheated. You two entered a relationship. It was your decision to enter this. Nobody forced you to do it.

In a relationship we must always see to it that we have two things: Trust and loyalty.

Trust him that it will always be you that he will love, and let him be loyal enough to only have you, and ONLY YOU.

Sometimes when I walk by the streets and see someone. Someone stunning. Someone so beautiful. I stop and take a look. But there is this moment where my head reminds me:

“oops, time to look away. why do i have to settle for someone else
when i know i already have the best?

Nothing good will come out of cheating. That I can assure you. I've been there and I've done that.

In fact, I once had someone. How she found out I was cheating is still a mystery to me. We were sitting together eating, she suddenly asks me about the “third party.” Me, unaware that she knew everything, simply shrugged and asked her what was she talking about.

She blew up. She shouted and I found myself in a room where everyone was looking at me.

She stood up, looked me in the eyes, pointed her finger to me and said:

You know Adrian,if you treat women like a game, no matter how many times you cheat,
you will never, ever, win”

She left me with this words that left me stunned.

So don’t make the same mistake I made. DON’T CHEAT.  DON’T EVER CHEAT.


“Love is a two-way street”

People often tell me that a relationship where only one is doing all the sacrifices, ultimately fails.

Relationships are bonds made by two people, therefore whenever there is a problem two people should also act on it. No one will do it for you, it will always and always be you two who will resolve each trial, each conflict, and each stipulation you face in your relationship.

Partnership: you two working together,a collaborative effort                                                                          to make the best out of your relationship.

After all, two heads are always better than one. Your relationship will not be a simple walk in the park, no, hell no. Your relationship will have its ups and downs, and you have to make sure that when those times ,when problems are a plenty, that you two will help each other out.

me holding hands with somebody <3
You will not only face problems about your relationship, but also personal ones, problems that are about family, friends, studies. You as a partner, have to be concerned, try to help out in any way you can.

Relationships are, to a slight extent, commitment. They require time, patience and lots and lots of attention.

Relationships also have its share of work, lots of work. And these works can never be done alone. It will always take to people to get through them.


One other reason why relationships fail is boredom. Bored that you don’t get to see her, bored that you don’t get to talk to her often, or simply, bored of the same routine, day in day out, week in week out.
We get into a relationship to learn new things, experience new things, and create new memories too. 

No matter how you put it, the moment she gets bored with you, the game is over.

We must, therefore, find a way to make the flames of romance not wither and die but rather spark anew and ever brighter.


Mix it up a little. Try not to stick to a routine. Instead of giving her cards and teddy bears on your monthsarry why not try and give her something “from the heart?” Something, that you yourself have made, something that can never be copied.

And instead of going to the same mall, to the same restaurant, same spot, why not try and go to the park, savor nature, savor moments that are unplanned like the birds going down from above right in front of you, like those bumps and cracks on the road that you accidentally trip on, you won’t be just be laughing but also sharing and making new memories.
And instead of going to the resto, or calling fast-food, why not make the food yourself? Your partner will definitely appreciate the thought, if not the taste of the food. =D

And instead of just sitting on the bench holding hands, why not try something more active? Why not take her to laser tag? Or maybe go cycling together, see new sights and enjoy the ride? Or maybe, go shoot some hoops? Play a little sports?

Make life exciting for the both of you. That way he/she won’t leave you. Why? Because your partner is enjoying every second and every moment with you.

These are just of the many things you can do to spice it up! Experiment, and don’t be afraid to try it. It will pay off.

in the end

As I close my Valentine’s day special blog post. I would like to greet everyone a HAPPY VALENTINES DAY!

So for a lasting relationship?

Be Mature
Be Faithful
Help each other out, through partnerships
And add a a little variety to spice things up.

Please do follow me on twitter  @adrianastorga26
And like my facebook page : Adrian James Astorga
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