Monday, October 29, 2012

Love and the Honor Student (Part 1)

Love and the Honor Student (part 1)

Dear friend,

I think that it would be quite weird if I write about Love. Love is a very, how should I say this, emotional subject. It is not of my nature to talk about my past experiences. But this would be an exception.

As I go back to the time of my innocence and playfulness, I seem to laugh at myself for the things that I have done years ago. My childhood has been a fairly normal one. And a part of it is having those childhood crushes.

The reason that I am writing about this is because just a few days ago she went back to our neighborhood, probably to spend the week here with her relatives. I felt an impulse to look at her deeply. I don’t feel anything for her, but I feel the urge to remember those days when we were close friends, very close friends.

When I saw her for the first time in almost a decade I saw how different she was. Adolescence has definitely caught up with her. I’ll call her Karen. Karen has a darker skin tone than me and she has an average height for her age.

When we were five, we used to play around just in front of our houses. During those times we would kid around about whose got a crush on who. I can’t help myself laughing from all those silly little things we did. Have you ever had that feeling of liking the other person just because you spend a lot of time together?  

I have a very sharp memory. As much as I want to talk to her and say hi, I can’t. She probably doesn’t remember me. She must have probably forgotten those childhood moments. But I can’t.

I want to talk to her. Maybe ask what she was up to. How she was doing at school. Where did she live. Those things that people often ask when they engage in small talk.

I don’t want to forget her. She was a childhood experience that is worth remembering.  I don’t want to ask her out to a date, or maybe enter in a relationship.

I ask a around about her trying not to look suspicious. But sadly I didn’t get much out of my friends.

I feel so sad that she will go away a few days from now.  Sad for the possibility, that I will never have a chance to talk to her again.
For almost ten years, I have sometimes thought about Karen. How we used to play, and sadly, how suddenly she went away, without ever saying goodbye. 
Maybe this is the reason I’m so eager to talk to her.

As I am writing right now, she is outside, talking with her friends, unaware of the guy who is writing about her, unaware of a forgotten friend.

I feel shy about approaching her. I am afraid that her friends will make malice out of me talking to her.  Right now she has 5 friends all around her, all of them are girls, and that makes it a lot difficult for me.

I should talk to her. Maybe get help from a friend to break the ice. All I want is to make up for the time we missed. It is so ironic how to people who like each other, two people who were once the best of friends, suddenly forget about each other.

Friend I need to take a rest, maybe next time. I can’t write properly. I have a lot of things I want to talk about but when I write it down, I can’t. I am sure this is not love, maybe just confusion. Yep, that is right I’m just a little confused.

‘till next time.

Yours truly,

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