Sunday, April 14, 2013

The love that sacrifices

The love that sacrifices

Love has many kinds, it grows into a lot of shapes and sizes. Some kinds of love are shy, others bold and still there is that one kind that is hard to find, the love that sacrifices, it is the love that is true, the love that is pure.

Love isn’t all about you, it is about us. You can’t always get what you want, sometimes you have to let go of the things that you want. It’s about letting go of one thing to make somebody else’s life better. You do not do this simply because somebody tells you to, but rather it’s because it’s the right thing to do.


When two people really care for each other, they always try to meet halfway. However, there are times when no matter how much they want to reach a compromise they simply can’t. He needs sex, she’s not ready. He wants to pursue his dreams, she’ll never see him for a long time. She loves him, he loves another.

These things hurt, but people choose to let go, even how much they would get hurt, they want the person they love to be happy. They are willing to get hurt in order for someone else not to. These are the loves that sacrifice. He needs sex? She’s not ready, so she decides to let go, because she can’t give what he needs. He wants dreams? But he decides to settle down with the girl, saying that the woman he loves is the biggest dream that has ever come true. She loves a guy that already loves another? She learns to be content with just being friends. People care a lot more for others than they do for themselves, it’s true.

There was one girl that I really love. She is great writer just like me, and we fell for each other from being ordinary acquaintances to the best of friends, until such time that we decided to go into a relationship. The prospects were bright. Chemistry was no question because we really complemented each other. She was sweet, I was sweeter. She was caring, nice and smart, my ideal girl. Our break-up was not the result of a mighty row between us two, but because of someone else’s, her parents. We tried all we can to keep our relationship “hush-hush” but sooner or later her mom found out and we were given a choice:

“Keep the relationship going, but she has to move to another school.”
“End it.”

            The choice was hard to make since I would end up losing her either way. Long distance relationships hardly work out. And I know that in the end neither of us would be happy. But then I remember Anne, and her boyfriend John, who was about to have their first anniversary when John’s parents found out, and they found themselves in the same situation I was in.

            She was given the same choice.

            I made the same decision Anne made that day, I let her go. I still remember what she said that really made an impression on me:

“Our relationship will not only affect the both of us, I have to also consider our friends, I don’t want to be selfish to send John off just to keep our relationship afloat, I would rather end this than see all of us, me, John and our friends happy.”

            When I asked if she still loves him after all this time,

“When someone has been part of your life, they stay that way, so yes, I still love him, even if we are just friends, because we once shared something memorable.”

            And from that day on, me and my former girlfriend are still very close friends, though we still love each other, we are content just that way. I’m happy where she is happy. Because I can still see her, talk to her, and laugh with her. And I know that we can’t love each other that way again, but I know that the memories we shared, the good times, the smiles, the laughter, the tears, will never go away, those memories will forever be in both our hearts.

            We are always faced with choices, choices that hurt us. But even if the choice hurts, we have to make it, just keep in mind that it will all get better. It might not lead to that fairytale ending you imagined, but it’s better than nothing.
            Though we are sad, we cry and sob. We know that we did the right thing to do. And that is all that matters, that is the love that sacrifices.

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